The Vampires of Intellectual Theft

Image copyright Sandra Ormandy

My two worlds collided tonight, and it wasn't in a blaze of glory. It was in a sadly prosaic way. I discovered while doing a self-google (is this some odd form of a selfie?) that some very nasty folks (intellectual, moral, and economic VAMPIRES) have stolen my work from Amazon, where it is for sale for quite a paltry amount, and are "giving" it away.  After all, they think, they aren't hurting anyone. Or perhaps they imagine they are only hurting the huge corporate entity of Amazon?

I take this personally. Like many folks who discover I am a college instructor, they might believe that I am well cared for economically, and thus don't really need the small sums I make from each sale. To most American's, a college teacher = gravy train. Show up nine months of the year and earn, earn, earn.Not true for part-time instructors. We are technically fired at the end of each term, and then rehired at the will of the institution. No health benefits. No PERS.

I need every penny I earn from the Kindles I write and place in the Kindle store. I am a migrant. Like most part-time college instructors (and yes, I would love a full-time position), I am legally classified as a migrant by the unemployment people; and thus I am not eligible for benefits if I am not scheduled for classes any term. I NEED every dime I can scrape together. Yet I keep the prices for my Kindles low enough that pretty much anyone can buy a full set for less than the price of the Starbucks they are undoubtedly swigging.

I am not flattered that thieves chose me and my work. I am not flattered that vampires such as these folks find such usefulness in my work that they would steal it and then make others party to their thievery.This was not a victimless crime. I have been victimized. So thief's, I have been victimized. And you have victimized me.

Coffee Makes the World go round

To an Ormandy, coffee is a necessity. If one of us turns a cup of Joe down, it means the apocalypse is at hand and the four horseman are riding. Coffee is as necessary as air.

  It is mid-afternoon, and the sun is starting to bake the chairs and tables outside. My own deck is shadowed, which makes it the perfect location on warm days to sit in the shadows cast by the overhanging trees with a great book, a cat flaked out on the concrete by my feet, and a cup of coffee at hand. Even if it is not a very  attractive coffee such as that depicted here; the apocalypse is not at hand. The day will turn into evening, the night following like it is meant to follow. An Ormandy has her cup.

 And it is good.

Memorializing Memories

Running along the beach at Seaside, Oregon is a series of lightposts -- modern ones made to look like vintage poles -- which stand between the boardwalk and the houses. They stand looking out at the ocean, waiting for the sun to fade into the sea. Being a college English teacher, albeit a part-time disposable one, I could wax poetic about that particular metaphor (and might at some point), but today's blog-post is about the need to publicly memorialize our memories of those who have passed. 

Again, English teacher here, but I had to wonder about the differing language used by different families. Some of the plaques wax poetic about what happens beyond death, some quote others who have waxed poetic, while some have a fairly succinct statement that they loved, missed, and were grateful to have known, the dead loved person[s]. Does the very public memorializing language indicate the level of ...missing? Or does the depth, the floweriness, of the language simply reflect something else; perhaps reflecting the comfort level of the purchaser of the plaque with poetry? More questions than answers here. No one but the person who paid to memorialize their loved one can possibly answer the questions...and who would really ask? 

 


I simply noted the differing tone of the various statements and the way many of them connect the metaphor of wandering into death with that of the metaphor of wandering across the vast ocean into a foreign land. 


The Tennyson poem at left is a prime example of the connection between the metaphor of death and the time and/or experience which lies beyond it to that of the ocean and man's experience traveling its constantly changing terrain.
 

And then the poem above does the opposite, it juxtaposes the joyful sameness of being with one person on a day-to-day level for all of time with that of the adventure caused by the changeability of the ocean

The one at left and below is a simply statement of fact. And the one at left makes sure to mention all names leaving no one out.

As you can see, there is a difference in the floweriness of language; it runs from vintage Victorian poetry to what seems to be very modern, very prosaic, simple statements of fact.

Yet in each case the family has PAID to memorialize the name of their loved one[s] and the fact of that their love, and their loved one, has been remembered.

Re-imgining a Life

Pictures on the wall catch the attention of lone wanderers,
Stopping them to read of lives lost, lives well spent, lives mourned.
Gone from life, yet
Larger than life; they tell their stories in details imaged by an artist
Who never knew them when they walked reality.
All the stories told in second person channeling though
Third person; what remains of the original in all this
Imagining?

Only pictures.
Only stories on a wall.
Only re-imagined lives remain
As pictures on a wall.


I am re-imagining my own life currently; and this blog will reflect that re-invention. The wall is somewhere in the Hawthorne area of Portland, Oregon -- image taken in 2013.  

Conjunctions Merging into One pt 3 Grammar with Leslie

You are going to learn some new categories for words today. Stop and take notes and write them down since it is mighty hard to remember new things if you treat them like a television show, as something you are just observing. My methods work best for people willing to interact with our living language.

After this lesson, you should be able to identify compound subjects, compound nouns, compound objects, and one "conjunction."

Do you remember way back when you were learning simple math? Do you remember 1 + 1? You said, "One and one." Well this lesson builds on that usage of "+," the "and." The word "and" when it appears in a sentence can have several usages. But I am not running a deep-level grammar class, just helping you fix your sentence skill issues such as fragments, run-ons, comma-splices, and such-like. I am going to simplify the heck out of the discussion and simply ask you to accept the label "and" is a "conjunction" used to create a sentence part called "compound subject noun," "compound verb" or compound object noun." So "and" is the equivalent of a you saying "plus" in a match equation, and the category it fits within is "and" = "conjunction."

Confusing, right? Well, interact with the video and then read below.




A conjunction "pounds" two subject nouns into one unit.
A conjunction "pounds" two object nouns into one unit.
A conjunction "pounds" two verbs into one unit.

Draw these sentences, and label each word with the category it fits within.

1. Sandy and Leslie drink gin.
2. Tom and Sue watch television.
3. Tom loves apples and oranges.
4. Brian eats and drinks at the bar.
5. The cat on the couch sat and purred.

Note that it is possible to have compound subjects, compound verbs, and compound objects all in the same sentence.

Sandy and Leslie ordered and drank martinis and margaritas.

Now come up with several of your own, every day. Notice the use of compounds and propositions in sentence you read. Note the way words and sentences interact with us in the world around us. And tune back in next week. Or hire me.

Visual Kinestic Simple Sentences pt 2 of Grammar with Leslie

Welcome back to the Leslie Ormandy blog. Last week I began by introducing viewers to the very basics of simple sentences -- the subject noun, verb, and together we discovered where the verb hides when you are trying to find it in your sentences (inside the subject noun). I showed how the verb is actually fairly easy to locate in a sentence though drawing the sentence. For instance, in the image at left you see "The boy stood." By drawing the sentence, you find out that the part you are drawing is the subject, and the verb is hidden inside him. One can not draw a verb. Those of you "in the know" understand that there are other parts of a sentence that one can not draw, but a person whose language has always been English will instinctively draw first the subject noun. Well, at least 90% of the time amongst my own student pool of observation.

This week the lesson advances to discover the next piece of the simple sentence -- object nouns and prepositions. Watch the video over on "Grammar with Leslie" over at YouTube, then come back -- the list of words you need is below, as are some sample easy sentences to draw. Video link: http://youtu.be/pBkcxJinqMo

Common prepositions -- and I advise making or buying flashcards and memorizing them since they feel like verbs are:

about above across after among around at before behind below beneath beside between by down during except for from in into of off on over since through through to toward under up with without

Practice sentences:

1. The cat lazed on the pillow.
2. The dog ran after the cat.
3. The boy bounced the ball.
4. The girl ate a cookie.
5. The vampire chased the victim.

(Do you notice how many of the subject and object nouns have an article (A, An, The) in front of them?)

Now come up with some of your own. If you don't practice, you don't learn. But the rule is, if you can't label it, you can't use it.

Subjects, Objects and Verbs -- Gosh Darn!

Subjects, objects, and verbs really aren't so scary after all!

I possess a great deal of creativity and an ability to see problems at angles. Thus my approach to what I saw as the prime issue of writers -- the inability to structure their sentences to standards -- was not head-on. It was not "read the book, dunderhead!" Instead I looked at the society which my students live inside, and that has so strongly influenced their learning styles, in hope of finding a solution which would let them fix their sentence fragments, comma splices, fused sentences, and run-ons.

I discovered over a few years of teaching basic grammar classes, that many of my students were simply incapable of identifying the verb in a sentence. To simply parrot, "it's the action" at them was counterproductive. For some reason their brains were hard-wired to see movement potential in any word. It wasn't lack of wanting to learn, it was material presented in ways that didn't allow them to learn.

One brainstorm and earth-shaking "ah-ha" moment gave me the following exercise which allows 90% of my students to learn what goes inside a sentence, how to merge their sentences, and when to end a sentence. (And let me tell you, a 90 - 95% pass rate is astronomical -- and is inside an "A" realm.)

Identifying verbs, however, first requires imparting the ability to find the two types of nouns within a sentences. So, with little further ado, I share:

Ask: "What is a noun?"

The invariable answers come from most sides, "A person, place, or thing." And then a voice or two will chime, "And an idea!"

After affirmation, and because my students need all the grammar affirmation they can get, I let them know that we aren't going to talk about that fourth additional category of "ideas." They are highfalutin and we want to deal with the everyday.

So: Nouns = person, place, or thing.

Draw a person. NO! Don't just sit there staring at your damn screen. Treat me interactively! DRAW a PERSON! Participate with the Video. (Click here and return after watching!)

Can you find the verbs in the following sentences? Draw each and every one if you are serious about fixing your writing, and attaining A's. (Take your time!)

1. The girl sat.
2. The dog howled.
3. The cat slept.
4. The ball bounced.
   
5. The car exploded.
   

Now DRAW and WRITE five sentences of your own and label each part. NO! If you can not label the word as a subject, verb, or article, you may NOT use it. (Your sentences will be simple in the extreme.) If you really want to fix your sentence issues, you won't shortcut the process.

Watch for part 2 of the series....